blog about the same shit again?
yes I suppose I do, just for a minute. I forget what my last post was about, I think about Michigan........eating went fantastic but drinking was EXTREMELY damaging.
I'm in a bad place right now. My teeth have been hurting bad for the past few months so after I got back from Michigan I decided I would honestly try to cut the purging out....or as it goes now, way down. Still happens tho. Basically I upped my restriction and so therefore, need not vomit unless forced into a meal.
Results you ask???
HORRIFYING. For the first time in my life I have zero fucking clue what is going on with my body. I have always been able to loose weight, know exactly what will make me gain, etc etc. If I really tried I could loose ten pounds in a weeks time. NOT ANYMORE. I could understand if I was just eating and not purging. I know your body makes you gain weight like super fast. But I haven't been eating shit and I am getting no where. I'm freaking the fuck out. I have been exercising too. YES, you read that correctly. I HAVE BEEN EXERCISING. Running three, four, five miles at a time and doing strength at home. NO RESULTS. I don't know what to fucking do. I haven't been this fat in such a long time. I want to hang myself from the roof top of my apartment building every time I open my eyes, see food, or go to the bathroom and have to face the scale. Someone suggested maybe this is the turning point in my life where my body switches to "Adult Mode" and its super hard to loose. PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE SAY IT ISN'T SO.
I refuse to accept that. This week I have lost 6 pounds. Okay so a little progress, but with as much as I have been trying, like three weeks, it took my two weeks to actually see results.
I'm so fucking miserable.
If I'm not XXX pounds by my birthday.....shit is going down. I have until November 26th, 2012 to become thin. Well, thinner. You can never be too thin.
Someone throw me a fuckin bone.
Love you bitches.
<3
yes I suppose I do, just for a minute. I forget what my last post was about, I think about Michigan........eating went fantastic but drinking was EXTREMELY damaging.
I'm in a bad place right now. My teeth have been hurting bad for the past few months so after I got back from Michigan I decided I would honestly try to cut the purging out....or as it goes now, way down. Still happens tho. Basically I upped my restriction and so therefore, need not vomit unless forced into a meal.
Results you ask???
HORRIFYING. For the first time in my life I have zero fucking clue what is going on with my body. I have always been able to loose weight, know exactly what will make me gain, etc etc. If I really tried I could loose ten pounds in a weeks time. NOT ANYMORE. I could understand if I was just eating and not purging. I know your body makes you gain weight like super fast. But I haven't been eating shit and I am getting no where. I'm freaking the fuck out. I have been exercising too. YES, you read that correctly. I HAVE BEEN EXERCISING. Running three, four, five miles at a time and doing strength at home. NO RESULTS. I don't know what to fucking do. I haven't been this fat in such a long time. I want to hang myself from the roof top of my apartment building every time I open my eyes, see food, or go to the bathroom and have to face the scale. Someone suggested maybe this is the turning point in my life where my body switches to "Adult Mode" and its super hard to loose. PLEASE FOR FUCKS SAKE SAY IT ISN'T SO.
I refuse to accept that. This week I have lost 6 pounds. Okay so a little progress, but with as much as I have been trying, like three weeks, it took my two weeks to actually see results.
I'm so fucking miserable.
If I'm not XXX pounds by my birthday.....shit is going down. I have until November 26th, 2012 to become thin. Well, thinner. You can never be too thin.
Someone throw me a fuckin bone.
Love you bitches.
<3
