New Blog.....unfortunately not a new me.
Ugh. WTH else is new. So let's begin:
Weigh In: 152.1
Then I did the smart thing by eating two sammies from BK for breakfast after I felt awful for my 1-3 am binge. Vomited. Now I'm fighting back puke breath with coffee.....yeah cuz that will help.
My friend Clementine is the shit.....I originally met her on Red Bracelet two years ago and we have been besties ever since. Three months ago she went away to boot camp for the army. Left at 160 and now weighs 144. But of course cuz of her strenuous workout life she looks way skinnier. You know what that bitch did today?? She sent me a pic of her stomach that said "Morning Thinspo." REALLY? You think sending me a pic of yourself is going to make me feel better? I wanted to throat punch her through the phone. Of course I replied "Skinny Minny!! :) " but fuck i was mad. Let's be honest with myself here: I'm pissed because she is skinnier than me and I keep failing. I need to not let that happen anymore. I need to revamp and stick with it. This new boyfriend I have is not helping........
Boyfriends = +/- more on the - side. Spending more money that i don't have, having to answer to someone other than myself and my mother, EAT EAT EAT COOK COOK COOK LETS GO GET FOOOODDDDDD FUCK YOU AND THAT AND ME. There are more but I outlined the top ones. Positives: someone who cares, to snuggle with, to do shit with etc etc the usual crap. Ugh. I'm happy but not. Sometimes I think more happy sometimes I think less. Today I'm at a middle ground. Stuck between the turf and the clay. Hmm....wouldn't that be nice in reality?? Cuz that means I would be buried and hopefully fucking dead. Yay. :)
Well i might as well lay out the inevitable September goals that i will fail at:
- Loose ten pounds.
- Stop purging all together because my teeth and my wallet cant handle the damage from vomiting constantly.
- Log in some GOD DAMN AA meetings for court
- Get as tan as humanly possible
- Get in at least 30 minutes of some type of exercise in everyday even if it's lame.
- Do 100 sit ups per day or at least 5 days a week, gradually increase.
- Clean that disaster of a spare room across the hall
- Blog daily
- Stop eating fish entirely except the occasional sushi trip. NO EXCEPTIONS.
- STOP BEING SUCH A MEAN BITCH TO MY MOM NO MATTER HOW BANANA SHE DRIVES ME.
I have more but I think I'll stop there.....lets not go over board here.
Tonight the boy is coming over. Which means no tanning and no exercise. Well actually ok - I walked two miles this morning. And I will do my 100 sit ups after he leaves. I am adding in ten mins of strength to make up for loosing the extra two mile walk due to him picking me up at the bus stop. I'm going to add a side bar to my blog outlining my daily goals, because they change each day of the week depending on my obligations to others and THE LAW. Don't even get me started there. Nut shell - 1 Zero Tolerance, 3 DUI's NO LICENSE NO LIFE, BYE BYE SCHOOL, LATER FINANCIAL STABILITY, HELLLOOOO JAIL TIME. Yipeee. Don't you wish you were me?? Ahhh the good life.
Well I'm going to go design you some more. I'll be back later to talk about more things.
P.S. okay maybe I do love you and glad I started a new blog again. :)
1 comment:
cheers for walking two miles. sometimes i get mad at my friends for being skinnier than me, too. i'm pretty judgmental. i don't mean to be. i found those same reasons intolerable&i dumped my boyfriend for it. good on your for sticking with it for the good parts. i like your goals. maybe pick one, put a star by it, &swear to motherfucking god that you'll do it? one goal is much less stressfulhardoverwhelming than a whole list, i think. anyway, enough with nonsense. welcome back, darling. chin up.
xoxo
zette
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