but then again when have I ever been in control.....?
Super depressed and fat. Per usual. I wish I could just go back to high school when I was so driven to be thin and stuck to all my rules. I think being around skinny girls for 8 hours a day was really a motivator too. Now, I still have very thin friends and I keep them in mind but they're not in my line of sight everyday all day. Now I have a dog and a man who could care less about looking good. :( Either way, it't still my fault for being a lazy fat loser.
Cristy and I aren't working out together anymore. She got a job promotion and moved to a different bank branch. Great. My one day a weak motivation is gone.
I really need to get on myself. I don't understand why it is so hard for me to just stop making up excuses and go workout everyday. Christ even if it's thirty minutes! It's not like I have to be in the gym for 2 hours everyday. Why am I SO FUCKING LAZY???? I miss my ED buddy. Ever since she joined the army I have no one to yell at me and call me fat to keep my mouth closed and my body moving. I feel like she doesn't wanna talk to me at times. She rarely answers my texts but when she needs me I'm always there for her. Ugh its so frustrating. She posts constantly mobily on FB but then I don't get a response from her for like two or three days via text. DUH....let's be honest here, I know what's going on. :(
Here's some recent fat pictures of myself......enjoy and vomit.
Super depressed and fat. Per usual. I wish I could just go back to high school when I was so driven to be thin and stuck to all my rules. I think being around skinny girls for 8 hours a day was really a motivator too. Now, I still have very thin friends and I keep them in mind but they're not in my line of sight everyday all day. Now I have a dog and a man who could care less about looking good. :( Either way, it't still my fault for being a lazy fat loser.
Cristy and I aren't working out together anymore. She got a job promotion and moved to a different bank branch. Great. My one day a weak motivation is gone.
I really need to get on myself. I don't understand why it is so hard for me to just stop making up excuses and go workout everyday. Christ even if it's thirty minutes! It's not like I have to be in the gym for 2 hours everyday. Why am I SO FUCKING LAZY???? I miss my ED buddy. Ever since she joined the army I have no one to yell at me and call me fat to keep my mouth closed and my body moving. I feel like she doesn't wanna talk to me at times. She rarely answers my texts but when she needs me I'm always there for her. Ugh its so frustrating. She posts constantly mobily on FB but then I don't get a response from her for like two or three days via text. DUH....let's be honest here, I know what's going on. :(
Here's some recent fat pictures of myself......enjoy and vomit.
Gotta love a fat giggly stomach and thighs!!!!!
Well enough bitching for today.....love you girls hope all is well.
2 comments:
Ugh I fell off the wagon and then was run over by it! I know what you mean about being around your guy and not thinking about wt loss, my husbnd can start eating junk food and just eat a normal size portion, I find that mind boggling! We can try to keep each other on track.
Ah sorry I've been MIA. I know you'll find this hard to believe, I want your stomach and thighs! I wish that you could see them through my eyes, yet that's the nature of the beast isn't it? I dream of a day where we can all see our own beauty. I hope that day comes for all of us. -G
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