Feeling super depressed today. It's my own fault tho. It always sucks the worst when your sadness is brought on by your own stupidity.
I've been feeling better about the whole break up with Eric. We are still talking and actually hung out this whole weekend. Hanging out with him realized I made the right decision and I DO NOT want to get back with him. He is a great guy and I would like to keep him as a friend but other than that, no thanks. It's so much easier when I date myself, lol. I am glad I made this realization this weekend because I almost got back together with him last Thursday. PHEWWWW, dodged that bullet. The only thing that sucks is I know Eric thinks in the back of his mind that we are going to get back together. I was VERY clear on Thursday and told him that he should not have any expectations and that just because we hang out doesn't mean we are on the path back to "coupleism." He said he understood but I don't think so. I'm not really helping the situation tho. We had some drinks with our friends Friday and I went back to his house to spend the night and.....ya know......we didn't end up sleeping together though because he had "issues." He has had impotence issues our whole relationship and it was so fucking annoying. I try to be supportive and I was, I know it's not his fault. But shit, Bitch needs some sex sometimes!!! In a way i guess it was a blessing because I know I shouldn't sleep with him. Shame on me I guess.
Anyways, last week went well. I stuck to my guns and didn't drink any booze all week. Binge drinking bender has finally come to an end. I was gunna try to not drink anything until April but this weekend happened and....yeah. But I did REALLY well on Friday; only had a handful of beer, no binging and no black outs. It was awesome. I don't ever pat myself on the back but I was really proud of myself. Sad, yes. But it is what it is and being an alcoholic and all I think I did fantastic. Yay me.
Binging has slowed down also. Not what I wanted of course but better than it was. I am really getting tired of mia. My poor teeth. Today was day one for not B/Ping. So far so good. My plan for the evening is:
2 Mile walk home from bus
1 mile jog to tanning bed
Tan
Ride back to house from tanning bed
50 crunches
Shower
Ni Nights.
If I'm really feeling ambitious and do all that shit I might paint my nails. We shall see.
I don't know my weight right now and I "don't" want to. I am so fat its gross. I don't even wanna see a scale until I get back to 140. Jesus Christ. I hate myself for what I do to myself. It's already march 12th and I haven't lost anything. Fuck me fuck me fuck me seriously. What the fuck is my problem?!?!?!
God damn I'm so sad/mad/frustrated with myself right now. Would someone fly to Chicago to kick my ass please??? Thanks.
Well I hope everyone is doing ok. I have mucho blogs to catch up on. Sorry Ladies, but never forget how much I love you all!!
I've been feeling better about the whole break up with Eric. We are still talking and actually hung out this whole weekend. Hanging out with him realized I made the right decision and I DO NOT want to get back with him. He is a great guy and I would like to keep him as a friend but other than that, no thanks. It's so much easier when I date myself, lol. I am glad I made this realization this weekend because I almost got back together with him last Thursday. PHEWWWW, dodged that bullet. The only thing that sucks is I know Eric thinks in the back of his mind that we are going to get back together. I was VERY clear on Thursday and told him that he should not have any expectations and that just because we hang out doesn't mean we are on the path back to "coupleism." He said he understood but I don't think so. I'm not really helping the situation tho. We had some drinks with our friends Friday and I went back to his house to spend the night and.....ya know......we didn't end up sleeping together though because he had "issues." He has had impotence issues our whole relationship and it was so fucking annoying. I try to be supportive and I was, I know it's not his fault. But shit, Bitch needs some sex sometimes!!! In a way i guess it was a blessing because I know I shouldn't sleep with him. Shame on me I guess.
Anyways, last week went well. I stuck to my guns and didn't drink any booze all week. Binge drinking bender has finally come to an end. I was gunna try to not drink anything until April but this weekend happened and....yeah. But I did REALLY well on Friday; only had a handful of beer, no binging and no black outs. It was awesome. I don't ever pat myself on the back but I was really proud of myself. Sad, yes. But it is what it is and being an alcoholic and all I think I did fantastic. Yay me.
Binging has slowed down also. Not what I wanted of course but better than it was. I am really getting tired of mia. My poor teeth. Today was day one for not B/Ping. So far so good. My plan for the evening is:
2 Mile walk home from bus
1 mile jog to tanning bed
Tan
Ride back to house from tanning bed
50 crunches
Shower
Ni Nights.
If I'm really feeling ambitious and do all that shit I might paint my nails. We shall see.
I don't know my weight right now and I "don't" want to. I am so fat its gross. I don't even wanna see a scale until I get back to 140. Jesus Christ. I hate myself for what I do to myself. It's already march 12th and I haven't lost anything. Fuck me fuck me fuck me seriously. What the fuck is my problem?!?!?!
God damn I'm so sad/mad/frustrated with myself right now. Would someone fly to Chicago to kick my ass please??? Thanks.
Well I hope everyone is doing ok. I have mucho blogs to catch up on. Sorry Ladies, but never forget how much I love you all!!
2 comments:
Your smart to not get back with him, it has never gone well for me when I go back and forth between together and broken up. Some one ends up hurt while the other person is annoyed. As for the scale sucking I am with you there although I have a great diet idea. I am going to sleep as much as possible this week. I figure if I am sleeping I can't be eating.
Gj on staying strong :)
Also I think your plan sounds great - hope you had some fun..
I really need to get some color on me too.. I'm so pale even my white top has more color than I do..
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