Hey ladies!!!
I have to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU sooo much to everyone who gave me great advice and comments on my last post. I am (once again) so sorry I have been away. Work has been nuts with tax season and I just never posted at home. I, for the millionth time, apologize to all of you. I love you all so much and even if I disappear sometimes TRUST ME, I will always come back.
I have soo much to say. Alot has been going on. But of course, I am at work and slammed with paper work so I will give you a mini update and maybe I can elaborate later.
I guess the biggest thing is: I dumped Eric. I finally did it. I broke someones heart and I am experiencing alot of pain from it. He is so upset. I hate myself for causing someone so much pain. I have never dumped anyone before, especially for the reasons I did. It was heard, there was crying and he told me he loved me, which we have never said once in the 6 1/2 months we were together. Ugh.....jesus girls.....Why am I so sad when I've wanted this for some time now? Love sucks. Period.
My weight: HA. Just got over a 2 week binge fest. Weed, booze, 18 inch pizza's, you fuckin name it I ate it. My weight is 146.6 this morning. I was 151 Monday and have been "fasting" all week. Basically only eating if I am about to pass out. So 4 pounds in a few days I guess is good. I need to get the fuck over this 140 shit. I started working out on Wednesdays with a girlfriend of mine so that's cool. We worked out last night :) It's cool having a friend to lean on that actually lives in my state and is within reach. I think she may have issues with food too. I don't let her on about my ED(especially because she thinks I'm too thin already HAHAHAHAH) but she has made small comments about laxatives and restricting. I go along with it but don't act excited or give up my secret information. FUCK THAT. I don't need the girl signaling the siren amongst my friends. But it is still awesome to have someone around. I found some of the few existing pics from when I was 130 last night. Jesus......what motivation. I put a pic from when I was 215 and a pic from when I was 130 on my bedroom mirror with a post it that says "Be this, not that." I'm sure my mother will make some rude ass comment when she sees it. WTFever mom, remember I learned my ED from you. Thanks.
Ugghhhhh I have so much more to talk about but the boss man in paging me. If not tonight i PROOOOOMMMIIIIISSSEEE I will dish more tomorrow.
Love you all so much and thanks for always being there!
I have to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU sooo much to everyone who gave me great advice and comments on my last post. I am (once again) so sorry I have been away. Work has been nuts with tax season and I just never posted at home. I, for the millionth time, apologize to all of you. I love you all so much and even if I disappear sometimes TRUST ME, I will always come back.
I have soo much to say. Alot has been going on. But of course, I am at work and slammed with paper work so I will give you a mini update and maybe I can elaborate later.
I guess the biggest thing is: I dumped Eric. I finally did it. I broke someones heart and I am experiencing alot of pain from it. He is so upset. I hate myself for causing someone so much pain. I have never dumped anyone before, especially for the reasons I did. It was heard, there was crying and he told me he loved me, which we have never said once in the 6 1/2 months we were together. Ugh.....jesus girls.....Why am I so sad when I've wanted this for some time now? Love sucks. Period.
My weight: HA. Just got over a 2 week binge fest. Weed, booze, 18 inch pizza's, you fuckin name it I ate it. My weight is 146.6 this morning. I was 151 Monday and have been "fasting" all week. Basically only eating if I am about to pass out. So 4 pounds in a few days I guess is good. I need to get the fuck over this 140 shit. I started working out on Wednesdays with a girlfriend of mine so that's cool. We worked out last night :) It's cool having a friend to lean on that actually lives in my state and is within reach. I think she may have issues with food too. I don't let her on about my ED(especially because she thinks I'm too thin already HAHAHAHAH) but she has made small comments about laxatives and restricting. I go along with it but don't act excited or give up my secret information. FUCK THAT. I don't need the girl signaling the siren amongst my friends. But it is still awesome to have someone around. I found some of the few existing pics from when I was 130 last night. Jesus......what motivation. I put a pic from when I was 215 and a pic from when I was 130 on my bedroom mirror with a post it that says "Be this, not that." I'm sure my mother will make some rude ass comment when she sees it. WTFever mom, remember I learned my ED from you. Thanks.
Ugghhhhh I have so much more to talk about but the boss man in paging me. If not tonight i PROOOOOMMMIIIIISSSEEE I will dish more tomorrow.
Love you all so much and thanks for always being there!
4 comments:
Hey glad to see you're alive and stuff. Breaking up sucks, but its for the best. You'll both get over it. I hate being the dumper, its even worse than being the dumpee, but you did the right thing. Both of you deserve relationships that make you happy. Sticking together to spare someone's feelings is just silly.
Sorry about the binge. But you lost a lot already! It'll be great, you'll get back to 130, and lower!, soon, just keep your chin up and don't let yourself get all bothered about stuff! I know, its easier said than done, right?
Glad your back! Break ups are always hard, but you have to do whats right for you, he will feel better soon, just give him some time alone, you have to be happy, remember that. And don't worry about the binge! It's over now, and you can get back on track! :) 130's here you come!! xx
Yayy so happy to see you're back. Breaking up is rough, especially when you've been together so long, change is hard. You just have to hope that something good comes from the pain, I think it will. One of my fav quotes, "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe. Glad things are going well for you with the end of the binge and the workout friend. You're amazing! -G
<3
Stupid work getting in the way of our blog time ^^
Dw too much about hurting his feelings. Guys do it ALL the time and don't give a shit about who they are doing it to, or why they are doing it.
You weren't happy and it is great that you are doing something about it.
<3
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