Well....let's just say, per usual, things did not go well with the mother last night at Walmart. Not because of what I put into my cart, but because who was with me in the store. Long story short - she pissed me off and embarrassed the fuck outta me and I ended up throwing a bottle of 3 dollar wine (yummy..not) into the cart. Went home and drank the whole bottle in about two glasses, danced to some rap music (yeah I dunno with that one), drank 1/4 bottle of zzzquil, ate an English muffin with crab and cheddar and five cookies. Then off to bed. I woke up 2.5 pounds lower than yesterday, but I am still so pissed about the booze. I can get over the muffin...cookies...egh sort of....but wtf with the wine. I seriously have zero coping skills when it comes to dealing with sadness or anger. At the first sign of either of those emotions coming up I immediately wanna reach for the bottle, or 2, or 3. So here I am again today being a failure and "starting over." Why the fuck do I even try? Its so much easier being the complete fuck up and pathetic human being myself and everyone else thinks I am.
I'm really hating my face lately. More than usual. It's a struggle to even leave the house wearing this hideous thing. I'd anything for an eye lift and a nose job. Every picture I take that damn Italian bump just comes flying out at me. I used to love taking pictures. I feel like as I get older the thing just gets bigger. I look at pictures from junior high and high school and you can barely notice it. Now.....omg now its huge. Exhibit A:
Blahhh work sucks, this day is dragging. I finished the first book of the Hunger Games Trilogy this morning and have book two sitting next to me but cannot get motivated to read it. (Which by the way...not the worst thing I ever read but wow, what a disappointment. This book was way too hyped up. Looking forward to the movie.) Reading is like watching TV for me.....makes me wanna eat. And my bronk is wearing off and I want something snacky. Fml. I think I'll hit up some reverse thinspo on youtube. BBC has the best shows for obesity and fat etc etc. I love it. Why can't America have good shows like that?? Boo. Way to suck USA.
Later loves <3
P.S. America, I love you. But some of your traits are less than sub par. However, You're still my #1.
I'm really hating my face lately. More than usual. It's a struggle to even leave the house wearing this hideous thing. I'd anything for an eye lift and a nose job. Every picture I take that damn Italian bump just comes flying out at me. I used to love taking pictures. I feel like as I get older the thing just gets bigger. I look at pictures from junior high and high school and you can barely notice it. Now.....omg now its huge. Exhibit A:
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| Last night, after wine and zzzQuil |
Grossness....Blahhh work sucks, this day is dragging. I finished the first book of the Hunger Games Trilogy this morning and have book two sitting next to me but cannot get motivated to read it. (Which by the way...not the worst thing I ever read but wow, what a disappointment. This book was way too hyped up. Looking forward to the movie.) Reading is like watching TV for me.....makes me wanna eat. And my bronk is wearing off and I want something snacky. Fml. I think I'll hit up some reverse thinspo on youtube. BBC has the best shows for obesity and fat etc etc. I love it. Why can't America have good shows like that?? Boo. Way to suck USA.
Later loves <3
P.S. America, I love you. But some of your traits are less than sub par. However, You're still my #1.
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