Last night.......had Eric pick me up from the bus stop......no extra walking. No sit ups either. I did go tanning. Had a salad for dinner. I don't know why I "let" Eric influence me into food I shouldn't eat. But then again....it's really myself to blame. I shoulda just bought the damn broccoli. That salad dressing was vegan although loaded with cals. Shit. Had a glass of wine. Passed out.
I had court this morning so I stayed at Eric's to get a ride which means no morning walk. Blah. I feel thinner than yesterday but couldn't weigh because I was without my scale. I really need to just buy Eric a digital one. Court went fine and now I'm at work. I fucked up this morning with cream in my coffee.....I was almost done with it before I realized my fuck up. I suppose it will take some trial and error to get the vegan diet correct but I am still mad at myself. Creamor - C'mon that's basic knowledge! I plan on eating correctly for the rest of the day. So far I haven't eaten. My sister dropped off eggplant and pasta to my work - GREAT. I will be resisting it all day as a test to myself. I should just go dump it in the toilet but we all know I can't throw away food for some dumb reason....eyyy.
Tonight's plan......I guess I am hanging with Eric again tonight. I really just wanna be by myself to get some laundry done and try to do an at home work out. I have been in one of those moods lately were I am annoyed with Eric. Lightly annoyed but annoyed. I have no real desire to hug or kiss him or really show any affection at all. I did discover that I got my period about an hour ago (WTF) and I am not sure if that is why. I am also pissed that I got my period. I must be eating too much if it's just gunna show up like this. Fucking red bitch. Anyways......yeah I haven't had sex with Eric in a week. He tries every time we hang out and I am not up for it. Last night it was because I couldn't shower off my tanning lotion until the morning and I was too yucky for sexy. He tried again this morning after I got outta the shower and I said i was already clean for work and didn't wanna feel gross all day. I knew I would have to give him some tonight but then TA DA, my period. I just don't wanna be touched at all. Last night we were laying in bed watching TV (no contact) and he starts kissing me and hugging on me and cuddling and I couldn't take it. I was like "babe, please stop, you're like all over me." I obv hurt his feelings and he got off me but I couldn't help it. Sometimes I just need my own personal space ya know? I definitely feel like the genders are reversed in this relationship. He is the total female. Always wanting to touch me and be with me and blah blah. God I must sound like a complete bitch, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I have a wonderful boyfriend who shows how much he cares and I am just like "meh." Does anyone else ever get like this?
I'd love to keep rambling but a bomb went off on my desk. I may post later. Love ya ladies.
1 comment:
I understand how you feel about alone time/no touching time. I get that way with my husband and he can't understand it at all. I actually take the long way home from work just so I can be alone for a little while.
Oh I had a question about the bronkaid, do you take it alone or with no doz? I read on a website that you should take them together but I think the amount of no doz is messing with me.
I am setting a 2lb goal for each Monday to Monday and that is my only real goal since I suck at life at the moment.
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