Depsite me failing wonderfully at the continued quest for 118, I have had two bitches comments in my head and I cannot shake them. You would think the first one would. But it didn't. This second one.....just might have done it.
Bitch #1 - My Cousin Kirsten.
I actually love her. She is funny and cracks me up and has a wonderful husband and kids. HOWEVER - at Christmas she made a weight comment to me. I cannot even remember how it got brought up. The statement that is burned into my head is "Well you either look anorexic or not......right now you're.....not." Awesome. Thanks cuz. This of course after we have eaten dinner and my clothes are too tight and I hate myself. Also, did I happen to mention that this girl has had THREE kids in 8 years and within months fit oh-so-fantastically back into her SIZE ZEROs????? Tall, blonde, fun and gorgeous. And thin. In a size zero. Fucking love and hate you bitch.
Bitch #2 - Friend Of My Cousin's Girlfriend.
I need not remember her fucking name because she is a rude fucking asshole. We had a family party Sunday and my cousin Mike brings his gf who in turn brings her roommate/friend Bitch, as I'm calling her. Per usual, I stuff myself to the gills and take off to the bathroom on three occasions to purge. No biggie...following plan as usual right? NOPE. This girl knows me for like MAYBE and hour. She happens to be sitting next to me at the table as we all eat. After I am done I sit back and say "oh Jesus.....so much food." She turns and looks at me and goes "OMG, I know. I can't even believe how much you just ate. I was in shock the whole time you were eating." UMMMM EXCUSE ME BITCH???? Did you just fucking say that to me. Oh and she's a 5'5 tooth pick also. Where the fuck does someone get off telling that to a complete stranger??? I coulda smacked her and my cousin's girlfriend just for bringing her. And later when I was making a plate to take home for my mother, I saw her watching me with wide eyes like I just shot my grandma in the fucking skull. No - it's not for my okay stop staring you cunt. UUUGGGHHHHHH god I am soo pissed off even blogging this right now!!! I swear to God, she better never be at any family party again. OK fine - I'll level. She WAS right. I shouldn't have eaten that. Maybe the comment WAS necessaary. But I still find it incredibly fucking rude. And OK FINE - she has no idea about my eating disorder and if she did she probably wouldn't make the comment. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now everytime I go to eat something I think "Would she think you were eating like a fat ass?" and I instantly put the food away. Ugh, I suppose I needed to be told that but I am still flaming pissed about it. Fucking dumb skinny bitch.
Egh, alright I'm done ranting and raving. I've just been thinking about that constantly and had to get it off my chest. I hope everyone had a skinny day. So far I am at 38 calories today. I eat at Jen's tonight. Not sure what that will bring but I'm sure I can stay under 500 as planned.
Later lovies.
Bitch #1 - My Cousin Kirsten.
I actually love her. She is funny and cracks me up and has a wonderful husband and kids. HOWEVER - at Christmas she made a weight comment to me. I cannot even remember how it got brought up. The statement that is burned into my head is "Well you either look anorexic or not......right now you're.....not." Awesome. Thanks cuz. This of course after we have eaten dinner and my clothes are too tight and I hate myself. Also, did I happen to mention that this girl has had THREE kids in 8 years and within months fit oh-so-fantastically back into her SIZE ZEROs????? Tall, blonde, fun and gorgeous. And thin. In a size zero. Fucking love and hate you bitch.
Bitch #2 - Friend Of My Cousin's Girlfriend.
I need not remember her fucking name because she is a rude fucking asshole. We had a family party Sunday and my cousin Mike brings his gf who in turn brings her roommate/friend Bitch, as I'm calling her. Per usual, I stuff myself to the gills and take off to the bathroom on three occasions to purge. No biggie...following plan as usual right? NOPE. This girl knows me for like MAYBE and hour. She happens to be sitting next to me at the table as we all eat. After I am done I sit back and say "oh Jesus.....so much food." She turns and looks at me and goes "OMG, I know. I can't even believe how much you just ate. I was in shock the whole time you were eating." UMMMM EXCUSE ME BITCH???? Did you just fucking say that to me. Oh and she's a 5'5 tooth pick also. Where the fuck does someone get off telling that to a complete stranger??? I coulda smacked her and my cousin's girlfriend just for bringing her. And later when I was making a plate to take home for my mother, I saw her watching me with wide eyes like I just shot my grandma in the fucking skull. No - it's not for my okay stop staring you cunt. UUUGGGHHHHHH god I am soo pissed off even blogging this right now!!! I swear to God, she better never be at any family party again. OK fine - I'll level. She WAS right. I shouldn't have eaten that. Maybe the comment WAS necessaary. But I still find it incredibly fucking rude. And OK FINE - she has no idea about my eating disorder and if she did she probably wouldn't make the comment. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise because now everytime I go to eat something I think "Would she think you were eating like a fat ass?" and I instantly put the food away. Ugh, I suppose I needed to be told that but I am still flaming pissed about it. Fucking dumb skinny bitch.
Egh, alright I'm done ranting and raving. I've just been thinking about that constantly and had to get it off my chest. I hope everyone had a skinny day. So far I am at 38 calories today. I eat at Jen's tonight. Not sure what that will bring but I'm sure I can stay under 500 as planned.
Later lovies.
2 comments:
I'm being a judgemental bitch on your behalf.
Seriously, people need to STFU about what other people are eating. It is none of their damn business!
My reply would have been like "Omg I can't believe you just said something. I was in total shock the whole time you were talking. I thought you were purely ornamental and didn't know human speech!"
3 kind, 8 years and size zero? She either has a very good surgeon friend or has severe food issues of her own. Or did she breastfeed? I've seen that do wonders to someone's shape.
I've missed you. I hope you're well and had a good night at Jen's.
xoxo
jeez.. don't ppl have filters any longer? ugh..
and omg.. 3 kids and size zero?? :S is she one of those ppl with like miracle genes? *jealous*
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