Same Old

Feeling pretty depressed and shitty today. The fact that I'm the size of Beluga doesn't help. I'm not reporting weight anymore until I'm in the 130's. I'm just too ashamed of my fat ass right now.

Still binging out of control. I wish I had control like some of the awesome bloggers I follow. Like Zette....C'mon girl send some strength my way!! Lol - Love you.

I am the only one to blame but I miss my ED buddies. I had three, one of who I was/still am extremely close with, Clementine. I'm sure I've mentioned it before. Clemmy joined the army so although we are still besties she is busy with army life and we don't get to talk much. My other two are always busy as well. I know, I sound pathetic and whiny. I am just even weaker without someone to lean on I guess. But no more! It's time to find strength within myself and just DO THIS already. EEEKKK! Pray for me.

Yesterday went ok, although the bastard scale didn't move. Asshole.

Day one of vegan eating went good. Had Coffee with almond milk for breakfast. A potato with black beans and rosemary for dinner. A piece of beer bread as well - I ask my mom and she said it was without eggs and milk or butter. Sweet. All carbs though......blah. I ended up going tanning and got an extra mile of walking in. I woke up feeling less bloated, "thinner", and my weight hadn't budged. Damn.

My plan today is coffee, coffee, bronkaid, coffee, coffee, bronkaid. A veggie for dinner. TONS of water. Vitamins. I walked two miles to the bus this morning and when I got to the office I did 100 crunches. I decided if I want to get my 200 crunches in everyday, doing them all at once is never going to happen. I'll do 100 when I get to work in the morning and then 100 when I get home at night. So tonight I'll do my 100, crunches, go tanning and walk an extra mile. My "goal" is to not be a lazy ass and get in 20 minutes of strength also. I'll report tomorrow.

I have a bunch of work to do so I'm off. Hope everyone is doing THIN today.

<3