Dennis (old attempted sugar daddy) just text me and told me his wife is preggers with twins. Although we have only seen each other once in the past few months, now things are done FOR REAL.
I'm sitting here holding back tears.....WHY? I don't have feelings for Dennis, I didn't have some made up dream that one day I would be his wife.....I have no fucking clue why this is upsetting me so much right now. The money cannot be the reason either because nothing was ever steady and counted on in the first place. I cannot figure this out. Why the hell am I so saddened by this? If anyone can give me some insight please help me. Usually I can come up with a general idea if something makes me upset and I can't figure it out but I am walking down a dark hallway with this......ugh.
On a side note......I fasted so far all day today. 99 ounces of water and 10oz of almond milk currently. About 70 cals or so. Still not hungry and frankly now I am too damn sad to think about food. Heh - whatever works I guess?
So Eric is picking me up from the bus. I will be going home to do my crunches, pack and then he is taking me tanning. I feel like it's not enough. Because he is picking me up I am loosing a mile walk. I thought about running at his house but I don't have enough room on the bus to drag all my clothes and shoes back and forth to work. Egh......I plan on not eating anything tonight to make up for it. I just fail at everything.
I'll post tomorrow.
<3 u's.
I'm sitting here holding back tears.....WHY? I don't have feelings for Dennis, I didn't have some made up dream that one day I would be his wife.....I have no fucking clue why this is upsetting me so much right now. The money cannot be the reason either because nothing was ever steady and counted on in the first place. I cannot figure this out. Why the hell am I so saddened by this? If anyone can give me some insight please help me. Usually I can come up with a general idea if something makes me upset and I can't figure it out but I am walking down a dark hallway with this......ugh.
On a side note......I fasted so far all day today. 99 ounces of water and 10oz of almond milk currently. About 70 cals or so. Still not hungry and frankly now I am too damn sad to think about food. Heh - whatever works I guess?
So Eric is picking me up from the bus. I will be going home to do my crunches, pack and then he is taking me tanning. I feel like it's not enough. Because he is picking me up I am loosing a mile walk. I thought about running at his house but I don't have enough room on the bus to drag all my clothes and shoes back and forth to work. Egh......I plan on not eating anything tonight to make up for it. I just fail at everything.
I'll post tomorrow.
<3 u's.
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