Thank goddddddd. Finally back to my "normal" weight.
I don't understand how I can loose ten pounds so fast and I still am a whale. You'd think with the speed of how I loose weight (when I try) I'd be 118 already. Ugh......que Bulimia. I know a lot of the weight is probably bloating and water but I have never gotten to the point where I was lower for an extended period of time than what I weigh now. Could I loose another ten pounds next week if I stick to my plan? No clue. I suppose I should try that and find out, lol. Yes....I think I'm going to do that.
I had a coffee from Dunkin Donuts this morning. With cream. I knew what I was doing and even stated out loud "this is so not vegan" but went and got my coffee anyway. Shit - I'm hungover and was in the car with my mother in this shit ass snow we have. I was not about to ask her to drive and extra mile down the road to Starbucks over soy milk. In fact I am pretty sure even if I asked she would tell me I was bananas and make me go to Dunkin anyways. I know, I know. Excusessssss. I could have gotten the coffee without cream but UM SORRY I fucking hate black coffee. Yuck.
Sooooo. Cutting. Yeaaah. I'm pretty pissed off at myself. I can't even remember the last time I cut. I was sitting there in my bed last night drunk on cheap red wine. I can't remember what exact though came across my mind but I just took my knife out and cut the back of my leg. Just one cut. About 2 inches long. Usually I would just be mad at myself and *promise* never to do it again and move on. BUT - having a boyfriend does not make cutting easy to hide. It's nice that its winter so it makes it easier. The only time he could see it is if I got outta the shower or if we were having sex. But I guess in both situations I could have sox on......even though it creeps me out to keep sox on during sex. Hmm. Ultimately lets just hope he doesn't see it, because I have no fucking clue what I'll say if he does.
My plan for tonight: Spending the evening with Eric......semi blah. I just don't feel like being around him lately. He worked all last night till 2am and had to be back up at 6:30 this morning so I imagine he will be exhausted and not want to do anything but sit in his bed and annoy the shit outta me with boring non sense. What I would love to do is walk home from the bus in the snow, hit the tanning bed and then make a soup with my food processor. Reality of it actually happening? Zero. Well, the tanning will occur. I am thinking of spray tanning tonight and then bed tanning in the morning. I have never spray tanned before and I am scared to shit. But I need to just dive in and try it. And the spray tan may get me outta having sex. Well....I control the sex so I know it can. Hmmm......I'll have to ponder that a bit.
Well I have plenty more useless dribble to say but work is calling. Lame. Toodles.
I don't understand how I can loose ten pounds so fast and I still am a whale. You'd think with the speed of how I loose weight (when I try) I'd be 118 already. Ugh......que Bulimia. I know a lot of the weight is probably bloating and water but I have never gotten to the point where I was lower for an extended period of time than what I weigh now. Could I loose another ten pounds next week if I stick to my plan? No clue. I suppose I should try that and find out, lol. Yes....I think I'm going to do that.
I had a coffee from Dunkin Donuts this morning. With cream. I knew what I was doing and even stated out loud "this is so not vegan" but went and got my coffee anyway. Shit - I'm hungover and was in the car with my mother in this shit ass snow we have. I was not about to ask her to drive and extra mile down the road to Starbucks over soy milk. In fact I am pretty sure even if I asked she would tell me I was bananas and make me go to Dunkin anyways. I know, I know. Excusessssss. I could have gotten the coffee without cream but UM SORRY I fucking hate black coffee. Yuck.
Sooooo. Cutting. Yeaaah. I'm pretty pissed off at myself. I can't even remember the last time I cut. I was sitting there in my bed last night drunk on cheap red wine. I can't remember what exact though came across my mind but I just took my knife out and cut the back of my leg. Just one cut. About 2 inches long. Usually I would just be mad at myself and *promise* never to do it again and move on. BUT - having a boyfriend does not make cutting easy to hide. It's nice that its winter so it makes it easier. The only time he could see it is if I got outta the shower or if we were having sex. But I guess in both situations I could have sox on......even though it creeps me out to keep sox on during sex. Hmm. Ultimately lets just hope he doesn't see it, because I have no fucking clue what I'll say if he does.
My plan for tonight: Spending the evening with Eric......semi blah. I just don't feel like being around him lately. He worked all last night till 2am and had to be back up at 6:30 this morning so I imagine he will be exhausted and not want to do anything but sit in his bed and annoy the shit outta me with boring non sense. What I would love to do is walk home from the bus in the snow, hit the tanning bed and then make a soup with my food processor. Reality of it actually happening? Zero. Well, the tanning will occur. I am thinking of spray tanning tonight and then bed tanning in the morning. I have never spray tanned before and I am scared to shit. But I need to just dive in and try it. And the spray tan may get me outta having sex. Well....I control the sex so I know it can. Hmmm......I'll have to ponder that a bit.
Well I have plenty more useless dribble to say but work is calling. Lame. Toodles.
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