I just realized that October 15th is Sweetest Day. God Damn u Hallmark Holidays. I had to cancel on my rave plans. :'( So pissed right now. We rescheduled for another party November 4th. A pre-birthday, "Not Your Birthday" party as we are calling it. I fucking HATE my birthday. On my actual day of birth I am sitting in the dark, in my house, alone with a fifth of tequila. I already asked my intrusive mother to be elsewhere at the crack of dawn until noon the next day. Eric is also aware that he will not be seeing me. Everyone thinks I'm being completely ridiculous but I DO NOT FUCKING CARE. Isn't it MY birthday? Didn't you ask me what I WANTED TO DO? So I told you. Now get over it.
I am not unpacking that outfit. I will be wearing it to the underground that wonderful night of November 4th. I don't care who or what happens or comes up I am NOT CANCELING on Sean for the millionth time. The sky could be crying acid and I'll walk there. DONE DEAL.
Peridot - hahahah I totally thought you were calling me that but didn't take it offensive at all! Hilarious!! I do feel quite a fool now though that I misunderstood hahaha. Oh well. Thanks for the advice about Dennis and the good wishes to Eric. I'm sorry you found a mouse in your room. Eww.....let us know how the whole "jar mouse" thing goes LOL.
Run - Thanks for the good wishes for Eric also. <3 I know exactly how you feel about the laxatives....I used to feel the same way when I took them. Like a god damn kid in a candy store every time I went to purchase more. Eyy.....us ED girls are quite messed up hahah. I love it.
To update you all: Eric's surgery went great. He is in a lot of pain but I suppose is handleing it as well as possible. He informed me that apparently he is a big fat baby when he gets sick or injured so I guess I will be the judge of his manliness when I see him for the first time this weekend. Assuming this creeping up cold I have doesn't lash out at me. If that happens I cant see him at all. :( Too much risk for infection. I'm doing everything in my power to stay well. As of now its only a minor sore throat. No coughing or such. We shall see.
To ramble for a moment.......I wish there was a thing called "insta-weight flash" (yeah I just made that awesome name up). Like when I look at myself in the mirror I cannot imagine what I would look like 20 pounds lighter. I just can't do it. All I see is FAT FAT FAT. Now...if this insta thing worked it would go as so: You stand naked in the mirror and for like 30 seconds or so your weight would drop to whatever you desired so you could see what you will look like at the goal weight. Then your weight would go back to normal (unfortunately). I think if I could actually see what I would look like 20 pounds lighter I would be much more inspired. Have more drive to get out there and RUN RUN RUN everyday no matter what. I just get so discouraged by my reflection sometimes I just want to break every shinny surface in my house. Except the wine glasses.....lol. Wouldn't that be great? If we could just get a flash of what we desired? Maybe a loud booming voice from above that told us what we needed to do everyday to get there? I have no clue how to activate the flash of where the voice comes from but shit. That's why it's called make believe. It doesn't have to make sense.
I am really sick of my bosses sister popping fucking popcorn. I would be okay with this but it's the fact that I have it in this office so the smell makes me wanna dive into my side of the food cabinet and join her. SHIT. I won't do it. I am still only on those kidney beans, have an hour left of work and if I can make it I'm not eating shit at home. I cannot find my last pack of Bronk's so I have no helper to get me through......I need a plan......ok:
* Walk two miles home
* Change all bedding and wash out any germies
* Do 30 mins strength.
* Attempt Sumo Exercises as directed by Lou
* Paint nails
* Take Hot Bath
Fuck the bath I'll have to scrub out the tub when I'm done. Shower it is.
Have a THIN evening. <3
I am not unpacking that outfit. I will be wearing it to the underground that wonderful night of November 4th. I don't care who or what happens or comes up I am NOT CANCELING on Sean for the millionth time. The sky could be crying acid and I'll walk there. DONE DEAL.
Peridot - hahahah I totally thought you were calling me that but didn't take it offensive at all! Hilarious!! I do feel quite a fool now though that I misunderstood hahaha. Oh well. Thanks for the advice about Dennis and the good wishes to Eric. I'm sorry you found a mouse in your room. Eww.....let us know how the whole "jar mouse" thing goes LOL.
Run - Thanks for the good wishes for Eric also. <3 I know exactly how you feel about the laxatives....I used to feel the same way when I took them. Like a god damn kid in a candy store every time I went to purchase more. Eyy.....us ED girls are quite messed up hahah. I love it.
To update you all: Eric's surgery went great. He is in a lot of pain but I suppose is handleing it as well as possible. He informed me that apparently he is a big fat baby when he gets sick or injured so I guess I will be the judge of his manliness when I see him for the first time this weekend. Assuming this creeping up cold I have doesn't lash out at me. If that happens I cant see him at all. :( Too much risk for infection. I'm doing everything in my power to stay well. As of now its only a minor sore throat. No coughing or such. We shall see.
To ramble for a moment.......I wish there was a thing called "insta-weight flash" (yeah I just made that awesome name up). Like when I look at myself in the mirror I cannot imagine what I would look like 20 pounds lighter. I just can't do it. All I see is FAT FAT FAT. Now...if this insta thing worked it would go as so: You stand naked in the mirror and for like 30 seconds or so your weight would drop to whatever you desired so you could see what you will look like at the goal weight. Then your weight would go back to normal (unfortunately). I think if I could actually see what I would look like 20 pounds lighter I would be much more inspired. Have more drive to get out there and RUN RUN RUN everyday no matter what. I just get so discouraged by my reflection sometimes I just want to break every shinny surface in my house. Except the wine glasses.....lol. Wouldn't that be great? If we could just get a flash of what we desired? Maybe a loud booming voice from above that told us what we needed to do everyday to get there? I have no clue how to activate the flash of where the voice comes from but shit. That's why it's called make believe. It doesn't have to make sense.
I am really sick of my bosses sister popping fucking popcorn. I would be okay with this but it's the fact that I have it in this office so the smell makes me wanna dive into my side of the food cabinet and join her. SHIT. I won't do it. I am still only on those kidney beans, have an hour left of work and if I can make it I'm not eating shit at home. I cannot find my last pack of Bronk's so I have no helper to get me through......I need a plan......ok:
* Walk two miles home
* Change all bedding and wash out any germies
* Do 30 mins strength.
* Attempt Sumo Exercises as directed by Lou
* Paint nails
Fuck the bath I'll have to scrub out the tub when I'm done. Shower it is.
Have a THIN evening. <3
1 comment:
Your hipbones looked like shark fins. Holy crap! Mine are buried in my 'womanly' figure. Lol, all the weight put on me by my meds went to all the feminine places >.< (Tits and hips and upper thighs)
Yay for the surgery going well! Eep I hope you manage to get rid of the cold. Lol, all men act like big babies when they get crook. My old flatmate used to lie on the couch and have his wife bring him everything when he got a cold -.-
OMG you have a bath? *Dies of envy* Can I come live with you for a bit? I miss being able to fill the tub with bubbles and muscle soak after a hard weights session!
<3
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