.......to stick to a goal........of any sort.
Still so depressed and feeling like shit. I know the change of the seasons is not helping. :( I just wanna hide under my blakets and never come out......well not until I loose forty pounds. I wonder how long I would have to stay under there.....??
I have STILL been eating like a fucking pig. Oink Oink. This weekend was filled with Booze, SHIT FOOD and zero exercise. I blame myself and the weed I bought last week. I seriously fuck up my eating and weight so bad everytime I buy it. Eric rarely smokes either, just like me, and he wanted some last week so I treated. I swear one hitter a day has me in full binge mode 24/7. I have one hitter left. Packed and ready at home. I decided I'm already probably like 20 pounds heavier than last reported and screwed up majorly today already so I am ending the night with that one hitter and a bowl of Alfredo noodles and veggies.
Today I ate:
1 Campbells Select Soups
1 Bagel loaded with REAL Butter
1 Jimmy Johns #6 with no sproats
1 Jimmy johns BBQ chip
1 package of Captains Wafers
I've already eaten all that shit and it's only 4:32 p.m. FUCK. Why can't I ever gain control and just loose this god damn weight?!?!?!?
So once again I "start over." I honestly have no clue what kind of damage I have done to myself. I'm so scared to weigh.........so freaking the fuck out.
Well I will hopefully write more tomorrow. I have alot of blogs to catch up on too. Usually I tend to disappear when I'm failing and eating like a COW....hopefully that never happens again.
Loves <3
Still so depressed and feeling like shit. I know the change of the seasons is not helping. :( I just wanna hide under my blakets and never come out......well not until I loose forty pounds. I wonder how long I would have to stay under there.....??
I have STILL been eating like a fucking pig. Oink Oink. This weekend was filled with Booze, SHIT FOOD and zero exercise. I blame myself and the weed I bought last week. I seriously fuck up my eating and weight so bad everytime I buy it. Eric rarely smokes either, just like me, and he wanted some last week so I treated. I swear one hitter a day has me in full binge mode 24/7. I have one hitter left. Packed and ready at home. I decided I'm already probably like 20 pounds heavier than last reported and screwed up majorly today already so I am ending the night with that one hitter and a bowl of Alfredo noodles and veggies.
Today I ate:
1 Campbells Select Soups
1 Bagel loaded with REAL Butter
1 Jimmy Johns #6 with no sproats
1 Jimmy johns BBQ chip
1 package of Captains Wafers
I've already eaten all that shit and it's only 4:32 p.m. FUCK. Why can't I ever gain control and just loose this god damn weight?!?!?!?
So once again I "start over." I honestly have no clue what kind of damage I have done to myself. I'm so scared to weigh.........so freaking the fuck out.
Well I will hopefully write more tomorrow. I have alot of blogs to catch up on too. Usually I tend to disappear when I'm failing and eating like a COW....hopefully that never happens again.
Loves <3
2 comments:
Holy. Shit. We are one in the same. I made a goal tonight and said "I'm going to have fruit for dinner since I already ate to much". Seems easy right? Not for me! 2 hours later I found myself eating cookie dough ice cream. WTF. I hate that about me. I know your pain!
P.S I've been following your blog for a while. I'm always here if you need to vent.
give your self a couple of days- eat and exercise on those and then get on the scale- and we will keep them crossed for it not being that bad.
<3
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