FUCKING SHIT - A perfect world would have zero calorie peanut butter.

I feel a binge coming on.......Eric took his truck in to get looked at today and accordingly to his extremely vague text messages I am getting the feeling he wont be coming by. I don't care about the canceling.....man need to get his shit done and i have plenty-o-house work i can do but i am SO FUCKING HUNGRY and my head is killing me. Quitting smoking and fasting at the same time are means for mental distruction. And Binge destruction. I keep telling myself that as soon as I put a drop of food in my mouth I will feel like complete garbage (which is true) but the desire to eat is still plauging my brain. UGH. And now I am going to be left home with those god for saken garlic mashed potatos. Shit Fuck!!! Do i take a Bronk?? I just might. I only have three left and i would def say this is a desperate situation..........hmmm.

Okay so after I typed the above paragraph I ended up dipping into my collegues peanut butter. I really need to stop doing that. I only ate 1 tsp....not tbsp...tsp and i cant believe how something in such small portion could make me feel so much better. I could feel like taste sensors going off in my head and instantly my headache begin to feel better. Don't get me worng....i still have a headache....but not nearly as it was. It does make me sick to my stomach though to log that shit. 31.4 cals for ONE TSP can u believe that??? In a perfect world there would be calorie free PB. Or at least something ridicuosly less damaging. Soooo gooood but soooo baaaaaaad. In this case being bad does not feel good (like it usually does with me, lol).

I'll be sure to update tmorrow. Wish Me Luck.