The Weekend

Weekend was a success until yesterday. :(

Friday night and me and the boy ended up going out. I ordered a Taco salad, no meat, no sour no guac. Tad of salsa. Ate half with a glass of water and purged. Sweet. Saturday I didn't eat until 3:30pm. 1 piece bread, 1 piece cheese and 8 oz of Roasted red pepper soup with the boy before I went to Zach's memorial party. The party had a shit ton of ethnic food (OMG YUM) but I stayed strong and resisted everything until severe beer muchies kicked in and had a tad of spinach dip and a spoonful of rice. The amount of beer and hard liqiour I drank was horrendous. Ended up waking up Sunday at the same weight. : / I know if I didnt drink I would have been lower but at least I manitained for all the shit I put into my body. Sunday.....oh god Sunday......I freaking lost it. I woke up without a hangover but my appetite was someting of a monster. The bears game was on at noon and Eric was hungry so we decided to go to the store and make "Game Day" lunches: Hot dogs with seasoned fries. FRICK. I bought myself a pack of veggie dogs. Ended up eating two. Both had buns, a slice of cheese, ketchup, mustard and dill relish. Oh....and I had a nice serving of fried nasty delicious fries. FML. I tried purging it but bread is always a challenge and I probably got barely 100 calories out. I got dropped back off at home about 5:30 pm. My house was empty. My fridge was stuffed. My stomach was growling. I imagine you can guess what happened. BINGE CITY. From what I can remember I consumed (this is gunna be gross....just a warning):

1. 2 More veggie dogs dressed up the same as lunch time.
2. Half a cheese sammie with mustard
3. 5 Oatmeal choclate chip cookies
4. Mini bag of Cheetos
5. 6 inch cheese pizza bread
6. Nature Valley granola bars (2)
7. 1 Veggie burger w/ cheese, k & m
8. GIGANTIC salad with cheese, ranch, crutons and tuna....yep fucking fish.
9. Estimate 20oz of skim milk
10. 3 Diet Cokes

I think that's it but I'm sure I missed something.....obviously this was all purged. Another Epic Fail. I woke up this morning feeling like complete and utter garbage. Back, stomach and head ache. I obviously deserve it. The scale was also up 1 pound. Nice work FAT ASS. Ugh.

I knew a binge was going to happen and I knew it would happen this weekend. It always happens on the fucking weekend. What's sad is I tried to stay busy to avoid this. I vacummed and dusted and swept floors and mopped and did laundry etc etc......all stopping in between tasks to stuff my god damn face. :'(

So far today I am back on track. Had my usual oatmeal with half a red apple for breakfast, some tea and of course....water. I'm negative on calories but can feel my fat bloated stomach underneath my clothes and wanna scream. I'm starving right now and I know it's because I binged yesterday. I know I should fast today but if I do that I'll just fuck up when I get home so I'm going to eat a veggie soup here in a minute. 120 cals. Blah. Cals for today after the soup with be:

Cal Intake: 378  Output: 974 = (596) 

Shittyyyy if u ask me.

Goals for Tonight:

1. Sit Ups
2. Tanning
3. Steamed Veggie Dinner
4. Early Bedtime

Laters.